Let’s Embrace It

Let’s embrace it all.

The tears, the panic attacks, the pills.

The hiccups, the Prozac, the coping skills.

Let’s talk about it all.

The depression, the anxiety, the disorders

The thoughts, the fears, the lies

Though we’re taught to keep it quiet,

Let’s try and be loud about it.
Stay Happy,

Chloé

Trying to Find Love on Tinder ???

My luck with love has been slim to none. Whenever a boy did like me, I shot him down because of fear of the unknown. This day and age, it’s hard to find a guy that isn’t just out for you know what. That’s why I set out to find the perfect boy, 2017 style; Tinder.

You may think I’m insane. I get it. I hear you. 

But I’m just not good at meeting people out irl. I don’t go to parties, I don’t have any hobbies that enable me to meet people. So I decided to join Tinder. Out of the people I’ve matched with in the past two days (all 83 of them) only a handful messaged me. Half of them just wanted to hook up, and I swiftly declined them. Others didn’t message me, reply, and only a few stragglers actually wanted to carry a conversation.

It’s hard as a Religious person to find someone who shares somewhat similar values as me. I have a purity ring, I don’t vape or do drugs or alcohol, and I’m not the type of person who “gives it up” too easily. I have morals, and I stick to them. So to find someone that respects those morals is hard. But don’t get mistaken, I’m not a prude. I really enjoy Kendrick Lamar and all the Real Housewives shows. I would join Christian Mingle but I’m not 40.

Two of my friends on Tinder have had dates, so eventually I like to think I will too. But for now I still haven’t found my Prince. It’s only been a few days though, I still have hope!

But actually please pray for me.

XOXO

Chloé

Yoga – a way to keep the happy vibes goin’

I had never done yoga up until a few weeks ago, when I started taking a class at my college. It’s called Yoga Pilates, and it’s a mixture of Yoga and Pilates (if the course name isn’t enough info). I was nervous before going, because I didn’t know what I was walking into. But I love it! They have all the mats and other materials we need there, and the girls in my class are nice.

The instructor is a certified Yoga and Pilates teacher, and she assigned us an assignment where we had to research about Yoga and answer questions. I definitely didn’t expect to have to write an essay in a P.E. class, so that was new for me. After two classes I found myself feeling less stressful, and I had less back pain than I normally have.

Constantly you hear that exercise is good to help your mental health, but honestly when I’m feeling sad I don’t want to go for a run. That just makes me sadder. But Yoga is a great way to exercise if you’re not the “go to the gym” type like me. You can do it from the safety and comfort of your own home, too. YouTube has tons of videos, and my favorite channel is Yoga With Adrienne. And now, just for fun, hear are the three different types of Yoga people you see:

1. The Hipster – Wears mismatched clothes and clogs to class, vegan, all about “Mother Earth”, knows all the yoga poses and their names in Sanskrit, takes meditation seriously.

2. The Trendy – Just joined the class to be able to say they do Yoga, doesn’t really try they just lay there on their iPhone 5 that has a cheesy glitter case, wears their furry fenty puma slides to class with their lululemon leggings, shows up late.

3. The Enthusiastic- Takes everything way too seriously, buys a yoga mat and other materials off of Amazon after one class, asks questions after class and keeps all of us there for an extra five minutes, teacher’s pet.

Stay Happy,

chloé

Things I learned in psychiatric hospitals

I’ve been in an inpatient unit twice; once when I was 14, and last October. When you become a patient, you feel a bond with the other people there. I became close with the people I met. After all, we did spend 10 hours a day together, learning about coping skills and doing group therapy sessions. So here are some things I’ve learned along the way.

  1. You may think you have it bad, but trust me when I say other people have it worse. Some of the people I met had been there for months, while I only spent a week as an inpatient. You can never tell what has happened to someone, or what someone has to go home to.
  2. Humour can be found even in the worst situations. I hadn’t laughed so hard in months while in my second stay in October. Example:

Counselor: “Sally*, what bedtime routine are you going to do to ensure a good night’s rest?”

Sally: “I’m gonna levitate.”

     3.   Bring your own pillows and blankets. Trust me.

     4.   When your parents come to see you, try and be as kind as possible. They may bring you outside food and drinks.

     5.   Eat all of your food. You don’t know when you’ll eat next. I’m a big fan of midnight snacks, but that wasn’t allowed.

     6.   Certain phrases and conversation topics aren’t allowed. Like when I asked if anyone wanted to play hangman, I was told the word “hangman” is a trigger and that we call it “flower power” here.

These are all I can think of for now, but this post will be updated when they come to mind.

Stay Happy,

Chloé

My Anxiety Triggers

Literally everything. Everything gives me anxiety. Though my anxiety isn’t as bad as it used to be, the nervous stomach butterflies are still there. They just feel more like tingles now.

While thinking about what to write to help get me back to blogging, my thoughts drifted to the topic of anxiety. People certainly talk about having anxiety, but not what GIVES them the anxiety. So I thought I’d be candid and make a list of all the things that trigger me.

  • Not knowing what the rules are.
  • Anytime I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing and what’s expected of me. I’ve learned to ask, but it still unsettles me.
  • Driving. I do drive because I need to get back ad forth from my day to day activities, but ever since I got into a car accident last March it’s been especially hard for me. Adding to this anxiety is a week or two ago when my car broke down in the middle of the highway. Now I drive with a fear of being stranded and inconveniencing people. I could take the bus, but unfortunately (see next bullet)
  • Buses make me nervous. When I was younger I had bad experiences with them, and now anything to do with buses gives me the worst anxiety of all.
  • Social situations. I am the worst at making small talk, and I have bad hearing. So most of my conversations are me saying “I’m sorry? What did you say again?”. On top of that I always feel like I don’t have a place at events and parties. I usually just wander around before I go and have a small panic attack in the bathroom and then leave.

We shouldn’t be ashamed of these triggers. These are what make me anxious. Everyday I struggle with these, and I’m slowly learning to be strong enough to fight them. I used to do everything possible to avoid them, which included skipping school so that I wouldn’t have to drive or be in crowded places. But now I confront them. These are just some of my anxieties, I know I have more but I can’t think of them at the moment.

Stay Happy,

Chloé

Things I Wish I knew Before High School

No one ever tells you how hard high school will truly be.

Going into high school I was ecstatic; High school boys! Driving! Prom! But I underestimated how hard it would be mentally and physically for me. I graduate in a week, so here are things I wish I knew before I entered high school.

1. DON’T miss school.

2. Join clubs and sports! You meet more people this way and have more fun in school.

3. Do your homework. Seriously. Missing one assignment can throw you off.

4. Take advantage of after school hours to get help from your teachers on things you’re struggling with.

5. Take at least 1 ap class while you’re in high school. But don’t take more than two at a time!

6. Go to football games. They’re so much fun, and some of the bet memories I have were there.

7. Explore all the different extracurricular activities to get a feel of what you like. This helps to determine what to do after high school.

8. Your counselor can be your biggest resource.

9. Bring a huge water bottle every day.

10. Though cute purses look aesthetically better for your outfits, just bring a backpack man.

11. SLEEP. Don’t stay up until midnight. Don’t drink coffee after 4, don’t eat after 7.

XOXO Chloe